Free Software
- dbxrecover
- qmail-localfilter
- ttel - tiny/trivial telnet
- gamebridge / xboxbridge
- JavaScript utilities
- SpamAssassin filtering
- RAMpage memory monitor
- VNC with ssh package
- Kodak DC20/25 webcam
- DC200/210 webcam
- Windows utilities
Free Graphics
- World flags
- Playing cards
Free Advice
- Editorials
- Open-Source desktop
- Multi-file search/replace
- Internet Explorer security
- Right-click menus
- SSH/SCP for Windows
- Configuring PuTTY
- FreeBSD EtherExpress16
- Newborns!
Personal News
- Résumé
- Photos
Site Info: About this site
E-mail: fitz@jfitz.com
Blocked SPAM Count:
Last 7 days:
Last 8 weeks:
Last 6 months:
Daily Random Quote:
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. -- David Moulton
|
 |
|
|
A Programmer's Short Guide to Newborns
By John Fitzgibbon, July 15, 2006
 There's no manual. You wouldn't read it anyway.
Nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation. Regularly pulling all-nighters to meet deadlines doesn't compare. Trust me.
"Breast or Bottle?" is a bit like "Linux or Windows?":- Lots of people on both sides, all with very strong opinions. At the end of the day, both sides get the job done, all without bringing about the End Of Life As We Know It.
99.99% of system malfunctions are covered by: A) Wet/Poopy, B) Hungry, C) Tired or D) Pain, (roughly in ascending order of "difficulty to deal with").
Don't eliminate A) or B) just because of recent Change/Feed. These are easy, try them first.
C) is not always as obvious as you might think. "Frantic Activity" + "Bawling" sometimes == "Tired". Go figure. Fixing this problem usually involves some baby-specific procedure that can only be arrived at through trial and error: something like standing on one leg with baby balanced between the other knee and your elbow while humming Rachmaninoff and using a hair dryer to blow warm air on baby's butt, all the while flushing the toilet and running the faucets. This is where you really wish you had that manual.
D) is not usually that common, but don't rule it out if you've tried all the rest. You'll probably find that your Pediatrician deals with dumb questions from newbie users better than you would. They won't flame you, shame you or dismiss you with a curt "RTFM", (there is no FM).
Remember that baby doesn't know (yet) that you're a geek. Revel in the captive audience as you explain why [Insert Name of Lame Programming Language Here] is totally bogus when compared with [Insert Name of Less Lame Programming Language Here].
Two week olds are not Bored. Three months, maybe; two weeks, never -- not even if you're explaining Perl's regular expression syntax.
Expect poor performance and usability issues, because, as with most complex systems, babies start off "buggy". Despite this, almost everybody will lie about how good/calm/sweet their baby is/was. The few who don't will become your new best friends.
Parenting websites suck. Pink stuff, cursive fonts, too many words. Don't bother.
Did I mention sleep deprivation?
Despite it all, I'm loving every minute of it...
Fitz.
2009-07-02 16:00hr:
SECURITY: Will AES crypto go the way of MD5? @linuxtoday
Video: Pentagon's Robo-Hummingbird Flies Like the Real Thing @wired
science @wired
Penguin Parents Won't Chip In to Help Handicapped Spouse @wired
Penguin Parents Won’t Chip In to Help Handicapped Spouse @wired
2009-07-02 15:00hr:
Mozilla's Crowdsourcing Mystique @linuxtoday
How-to Wiki @howto.wired
Tour de Tweet: Follow Lance and the Boys Online @howto.wired
VirtualBox 3.0: No More Booting Windows @linuxtoday
We Drive BMW's Electric Mini E @wired
Solar Racing Champs Roll Out New Car @wired
Spime Watch: SILENCE OF THE CHIPS, I want the T-shirt @wired
cars 2.0 @wired
cool wheels @wired
Sony Buys Part of the Long Tail @wired
Why You Can't Keep Your Foot Out of Your Mouth @wired
2009-07-02 14:00hr:
ASCAP Makes Outlandish Copyright Claims on Cell Phone Ringtones @linuxtoday
Practical Programming: An Introduction to Computer Science Using Python @linuxtoday
A green way to dump low-tech electronics @cnet
Supreme Court allows wider DVR use @cnet
With something for everyone, climate bill passed @cnet
Windows 7: Moving beyond Vista @cnet
CSC Teams With Microsoft on Cloud Services @internetnews
China Looks to Undermine U.S. Power, With ‘Assassin’s Mace’ @wired
Jackson’s Death Provokes Memories of Elvis Conspiracy @wired
Movies: Bale Chases Depp’s Dillinger in Public Enemies @wired
Penguin Parents Won’t Chip in to Help a Handicapped Spouse @wired
2009-07-02 13:00hr:
PostgreSQL 8.4 Improves Database Management, Security @linuxtoday
What Apple Does Right @internetnews
FCC Gets to Work on Mapping Out Broadband Plan @internetnews
Available Now: GNOME 2.26.3 @linuxtoday
Linux Vendors Head to the ... @internetnews
Ad Groups Move to Regulate ... @internetnews
Oracle launches Fusion Middleware 11g @vnunet
Solar Racing Champs Roll Out A New Car @wired
Future of the Web: Apps That Geo-Locate and Take TV Shows Away From the Couch @wired
Exclusive: Scenes From Universal’s Asteroids Movie @wired
summer test @wired
Keeping It Reel — 5 Piecesfor Your Must-Have Angling Kit @wired
Featherweight Olympus Is a Fine Entry-Level DSLR @wired
Peak Oil: Bugatti Makes a Car for the Ages @wired
space @wired
Judge Overrules Jury, Acquits Lori Drew in MySpace Cyberbullying Case @wired
Judge Acquits Lori Drew in Cyberbullying Case, Overrules Jury @wired
Lunar Probe Sends First High-Res Images @wired
2009-07-02 12:00hr:
Yellow Dog Linux 6.2 released @linuxtoday
5 reasons to switch to Linux @linuxtoday
Brain scanner for astronauts passes 'vomit comet' test @newscientist
We Drive BMW’s Electric Mini E @wired
Critical Run @wired
Bomb-Detection CEO Named New Darpa Boss @wired
Music Video Shot with iPhone, Jerry-Rigged Steadycam @wired
Ringtones Are Not Concerts, Groups Tell Judge @wired
Apple Patents Hint at Tactile Feedback, Fingerprint ID for Future iPhones @wired
On Blizzard’s Trademarking of ‘Cataclysm’ @wired
Lunar Probe Sends Back First High-Res Images @wired
2009-07-02 11:00hr:
Get started with Linux - part 1 @linuxtoday
The cranky CIO says the hard drive is inside the computer @linuxtoday
Computer reveals stone tablet 'handwriting' in a flash @newscientist
Incredible shrinking sheep blamed on climate change @newscientist
Money flows into green transport despite recession @newscientist
Laplink provides remote PC access on smartphones @vnunet
Bing searches to include Twitter results @vnunet
Phone tax not enough for full broadband rollout @vnunet
Belgrade June 2009, the continuing climate crisis @wired
Nabaztag and Favela Chic, together all along @wired
Video: Pentagon’s Robo-Hummingbird Flies Like the Real Thing @wired
Why You Can’t Keep Your Foot Out of Your Mouth @wired
2009-07-02 10:00hr:
Linux Vendors Head to the Cloud in Search of Cash @internetnews
Get to Know Clustered File Systems @linuxtoday
Wireless @cnet
Grow, Canada: Sustainable Biofuel From the North @wired
$4 Billion in Stimulus Grants Tied to Net Neutrality Rules @wired
2009-07-02 09:00hr:
Kernel Log - Coming in 2.6.31 - Part 1: New Wi-Fi drivers and other network-related changes @linuxtoday
China Paper Says Green Dam Only 'Matter of Time' @internetnews
Mono: Shielding the facts @linuxtoday
Ad Groups Move to Regulate Web Tracking @internetnews
Hands On: Kata 3N1 Camera Backpack @wired
2009-07-02 08:00hr:
Microsoft yanks 10 old patches down; smells like anti-Linux FUD @linuxtoday
Technically Incorrect @cnet
Advertising Groups Move to Regulate Web Tracking @internetnews
Why Ubuntu has become the flag bearer for Linux @linuxtoday
Most inspirational woman scientist revealed @newscientist
Zoho offers enhanced collaboration with Projects 2.0 @vnunet
Recession fuels growth in green IT initiatives @vnunet
Google updates Gmail labelling @vnunet
Five for Fighting 7/2/09 @wired
Is North Korea Prepping Fourth of July Fireworks? @wired
wan-omics @wired
2009-07-02 07:00hr:
IBM, NetApp Take on Virtual I/O Bottlenecks @linuxtoday
Microsoft: One Year After Bill Gates' Exit @internetnews
The Kernel Newbie Corner: Your First Loadable Kernel Module, Part Deux @linuxtoday
Child Porn App Disappears from iTunes App Store @wired
A Look Back at the OLPC XO-1 and a Peek at the Road Ahead @wired
Superhero Hook-up Chart Makes Your Romantic Life Seem Simple @wired
yo ho pay me @wired
space @wired
Astrophysicists Discover New Class of Black Hole @wired
2009-07-02 06:00hr:
Proprietary Software's Premature Obituary @linuxtoday
London Stock Exchange to abandon failed Windows platform @linuxtoday
Plant life saved Earth from an icy fate @newscientist
Apple Pulls Out: Child Porn App Disappears from Store @wired
Child Porn Is Apple’s Latest iPhone Headache (Updated) @wired
Lunch With Alan Dean Foster, Part II: The Star Trek Book @wired
Independence Day Safety Tips For Geeks and Dads @wired
Top Ten Things That Parents Should Know About Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs @wired
2009-07-02 05:00hr:
What ever happened to chunkfs? @linuxtoday
Microsoft @cnet
it is like a cow in that i can’t use it to get work done @linuxtoday
Robot rescue "rat" feels its way through rubble @newscientist
HP rolls out six-core AMD desktop systems @vnunet
O2 tipped as Palm Pre carrier in the UK @vnunet
Intel officially releases Moblin 2.0 beta @vnunet
Bottleclip Keeps Stylish Cyclists Hydrated @wired
Standing Room Only: Chinese Airline Plans Seatless Flights @wired
(Comic Book) Reading is Fundamental @wired
2009-07-02 04:00hr:
Palm Gains as Stocks Tumble @internetnews
Intel, AMD Get Thumbs Down from Facebook @internetnews
IBM Claims Privacy Breakthrough for Cloud, Data @internetnews
Intel, STEC Lead Tech Stocks ... @internetnews
Sun Releases NetBeans 6.7 IDE for Java, PHP @internetnews
PostgreSQL 8.4 Revs Up ... @internetnews
Google Widens AdSense for iPhone, Android Apps @internetnews
Genachowski Era Opens at the FCC @internetnews
Broadband Stimulus Opens ... @internetnews
Steve Jobs Officially Back at Work @internetnews
Apple MacBook Sales Yo-Yo ... @internetnews
Network Managers Delaying VoIP Rollouts @internetnews
Juniper Rolls VoIP Into ... @internetnews
Apple, RIM, Agree With EU on Charging Standard @internetnews
iPhone 3GS: Overheating ... @internetnews
Bloggers Say Facebook Slow ... @internetnews
F-Secure: Adobe Still Unpatched as Attacks Rise @internetnews
Enterprise Software Focuses ... @internetnews
EMC Dangles the Bait for ... @internetnews
Pirate Bay Gets New Owner, May Go Legit @internetnews
Facebook Aims to Simplify ... @internetnews
Return of the race myth? @newscientist
AT&T Voice Activated GPS App for iPhone: $10 per Month @wired
Cute Overload: Tiny Transformers Model Bike Kit @wired
2009-07-02 03:00hr:
Linux based Solar-powered networking anywhere @linuxtoday
TECHNOLOGY @newscientist
ENERGY AND FUELS @newscientist
TOP STORY @newscientist
2009-07-02 01:00hr:
The Kernel Newbie Corner: Your First Loadable Kernel Module @linuxtoday
Microsoft a Year after Bill Gates' Exit @internetnews
2009-07-01 23:00hr:
Red Hat inks cloud partnership with Amazon @linuxtoday
2009-07-01 22:00hr:
How-To Wiki @howto.wired
Explosions in the Sky: Take Better Fireworks Photos @howto.wired
Apple MacBook Sales Yo-Yo With the Economy @internetnews
Read More... @internetnews
Enterprise Software Focuses on Ease of Use @internetnews
Minty-Fresh Cars @wired
dual perspectives @wired
Future of the Web: I Want My Web TV @wired
Group Effort: Solo Musicians Band Together on Collaboration Websites @wired
Clive Thompson Sizes Up Cuba's Potential Tech Boom @wired
July 2, 1982: Up, Up and Away in 42 Balloons @wired
Wired.com Video @wired
Roast Weenies With Infrared Grill, Wireless Meat Thermometer @wired
2009-07-01 21:00hr:
PostgreSQL 8.4 @linuxtoday
2009-07-01 20:00hr:
Google sees new spam players on the horizon @vnunet
HP rolls out six core desktop system @vnunet
Facebook unveils new privacy options @vnunet
2009-07-01 19:00hr:
10 Awesome Features of Krunner in KDE 4 @linuxtoday
Net Ushering in Era of War Without Borders @internetnews
Broadband Stimulus Opens With Rural Emphasis @internetnews
2009-07-01 18:00hr:
Broadband Stimulus Opens With Rural Emphasis @internetnews
Juniper Rolls VoIP Into Routers to Cut Latency @internetnews
iPhone 3GS: Overheating Fears, OS Update Nears @internetnews
Security @internetnews
Windows 7 Beta Users: Welcome to Shutdown Hell @internetnews
Cisco targets energy efficiency with new offerings @vnunet
Pirate Bay 2.0: Pay Pirates to Become Consumers @wired
2009-07-01 17:00hr:
Changing the World, One Penguin at a Time @linuxtoday
Red Hat Enterprise Linux 5.4 beta released - including KVM @linuxtoday
Facebook Aims to Simplify Privacy Settings @internetnews
Read More... @internetnews
A Lamborghini as Fast as the Man It’s Named For @wired
Marines Launch Afghanistan Push; ‘Focus is Not the Taliban’ @wired
$4 Billion in Broadband Stimulus Grants Tied to Strict Net Neutrality Rules @wired
Congress Probes Defunct Airport Security Fast-Lane Company @wired
Congress Seeks Answers on Defunct Airport Security Fast-Lane Company @wired
New iPhone Knockoffs Are Nearly Indistinguishable From Original @wired
New iPhone Knockoffs Hard to Tell From Original @wired
|
|
|
|
Sponsored Links
|
